I cried because the movie portrayed a woman who after years of service and the loss of a husband continued to see the husband in her daily life. She was loosing her mind but her husband, the love of her life, was still with her. I cried because that is what I want. I'm bound to have dementia in my old age (both grandmothers have it) and will probably be that little old lady in the nursing home that swears like a sailor because I don't know how to control what I say anymore. It sounds crazy but I would be okay with loosing my mind to the present world as long as the love of my life was by my side in my dementia imagination. I really would be okay with that.
I'm back to crying again, darn it, because I have to let this idea go. It won't happen to me. Marriage requires 2 people to agree to the marriage. I may want to marry a guy but if he's not okay with the idea, I'm out of luck. Yes, this is hard to accept but I can't force the person to agree with me.
I've been trained and raised to be a wife and mother. Sometimes I just feel useless because God doesn't want me to use my training. I don't get it. I'm trying to understand but I just don't.